she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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