We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
