Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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