Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
