Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
