i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
