Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
