I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
