I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
