I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
