I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize