I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
