Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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