Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
50% drunk capacity currently
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
