Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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