normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
