girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
