Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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