Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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