apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
