im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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