Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
