You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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