On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Randomize
