What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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