can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
