I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
