"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
