Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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