is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
