the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just high enough for therapy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
