they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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