first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Still dying that you shit outside
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
