We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
