i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
