i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize