Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
