Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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