like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
