I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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