YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize