anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sex in a hospital.. check
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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