Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
