If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
