im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
