Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
