I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
