Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize