"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
