a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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