i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize