Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
