Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
