he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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