I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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