The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
