I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize