just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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