Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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