Don't make out with my wife yet
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
