Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
