I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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